Make a Wish

With a review like ‘if anyone can think of a better set-up for a horror film than lesbian ex-lovers camping in Texas, I’ll pay to hear it’ I had hopes of a cheesy non budget lesbian z movie Horror. And I wasn’t mistaken.

The plot is based around 6 lesbians camping in the woods for Susan's (Moynan King) birthday. 4 of which are her ex-girlfriends (sounds like a night in Candy Bar). Throughout the film, Susan's ex lovers get killed off individually. Yet the funny thing is no one seems to notice their friends don’t come back. Reason being, they are too busy getting it on with one another (like another night in Candy Bar).

The deaths are that of a non budget horror film, the blood is almost aluminous and sparse. The knives are obviously fake and rubber. And the death acting is just hilarious.

The ray of hope comes from Dawn (Hollace Starr) who is the only character you really feel anything for.

As a viewer I was questioning why these women are even friends, they obviously care nothing about each other, have no respect and are open with their dislike for each other. Except for Dawn...

The main actress Moynan King (Susan) doesn’t play a very convincing friend or psycho. She does however play a stereotypical butch lesbian well. To my surprise she has a few acting credits under her belt, But you wouldn’t guess from the dire performance in this film.

If you are looking for a Oscar winning story and acting... DON’T get this film.

If however you expect a cheesy, lesbian romp in the forest with a few nice boob shots and bad acting then this is the film for you! Its cheesy, fake, and funny because of how bad it is.

I however…won’t be watching this film any time soon. Where are all the good lesbian films???

Read about Victoria Broom here: http://www.planet-london.com/contributors/victoriabroom.html

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Film Title: Make a Wish
Released: 2002
Genre: Horror
Rating: 15
IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0328094/

But I'm a Cheerleader Movie Review by Victoria Broom

With an all-star cast and a DVD cover full of American Cheerleaders. How could I not succumb to watching BUT IM A CHEERLEADER?!...And, I am glad to report, it’s a funny little film.

The story follows an all American Girl, Megan (Natasha Lyonne) - Boyfriend, Attractive, Cheerleader etc... But, things are not all they seem! She hates kissing boys, has half naked women up in her locker, checks out her cheerleader team members and is (wait for it!!) a vegetarian! There is only one explanation. Is she... A LESBIAN?!!

After discovering all of the above. Her parents decide to ask Megan outright. She denies and they decide to send her to a ‘Sexual Redirection’ school. Can I just point out, the head teacher is Ru Paul who plays an EX GAY. Genius!! J

On Megan's quest for straightness she meets Graham (Clea DuVall), as always Clea creates a VERY convincing lesbian… and they engage in activities that can only be described as being out of bounds at ‘Sexual Redirection’ school.

The two go through up's and downs, the course needs to be complete so... will Graham and Megan choose each other or choose the path chosen by their parents – the path to straightness?

You will have to watch it to find out.

Directed by lesbian director Jamie Babbit, this film is a nice little treat if you are feeling down. It can’t help but lift your spirits and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

Read about Victoria Broom here: http://www.planet-london.com/contributors/victoriabroom.html

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Film Title: But I'm a Cheerleader
Released: 1999
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Rating: 15
IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0179116/ 

Puccini for Beginners Movie Review by Victoria Broom

Ok, this movie review is going to be a lot different from my last, main reason being.. I didn’t like this film.  

The Plot focusses around three main characters... ALLEGRA who is played by Elizabeth Reaser, GRACE played by Gretchen Mol and the oh so annoying PHILLIP who is played by Justin Kirk.

The film opens with Allegra in a relationship with Samantha, Allegra cannot commit therefor Samantha leaves her for a man (how charming!).

Allegra meets Phillip and starts a relationship (as lesbians do!) then meets his girlfriend Grace (what a coincidence) and starts a relationship with her too (greedy greedy) and the story is… Phillip doesn’t know Allegra is dating Grace and Grace doesn’t know Allegra is dating Phillip... Allegra doesn’t know Grace and Phillip used to date.

And that my readers, is the plot! Ta da!!

In my opinion.. there is no real point to this film, no real story except about a bisexual woman who is portrayed as a lesbian yet sleeps with men and ends up in two relationships. That’s where the story starts and ends.

If there were some good acting moments I could forgive this film, or even a hint of something sexy.. but sadly no. This film lacks imagination, talent, and good looks. Nothing about this film is good.. The story is dated, the actors are dire, the characters annoying. The director MARIA MAGGENTI has seriously got this wrong.. Its just not interesting and almost insulting to the lesbian community.

Don’t buy the DVD, don’t see the film, unless you want a dreary storyline where lesbians are shown as confused, pretentious, annoying, cheating, bisexuals its really not worth your time.

Read about Victoria Broom here: http://www.planet-london.com/contributors/victoriabroom.html

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Film Title: Puccini for Beginners
Released: 2006
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Rating: 12
IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0492481/

D.E.B.S Movie Review by Victoria Broom

I wanted to start my movie reviewing with a lesbian guilty pleasure that is D.E.B.S.

To sum the movie synopsis up for those ladies out there who haven’t seen this film.. it goes something like this

Four girls are about to graduate from a secret academy where they have been trained to become professional spies against the villains of the world.  The story follows team members  MAX, JANET, DOMINIQUE and AMY. Individually each character creates their own story and adds different dimensions to the film with a lot of the comedy coming from the chain smoking  French exchange student Dominique. Did I mention they all have incredible bodies and very short skirts? !!

Ultimately the D.E.B.S are trying to stop the famous crime lord LUCY DIAMOND from terrorising the universe when they accidentally bust in on her and a blind date with a Female Russian Assassin, NINOTCHKA which Lucy’s colleague SCUD sets up via a villain dating site. Gaydar perhaps?

Amy is shocked Lucy is a lesbian and is taken aback by her good looks and charm.. Eventually Amy falls for Lucy during a very romantic bank robbery Lucy has organised to attract Amy’s attention, they share a very intense and satisfying kiss in the underground vaults of the bank while her D.E.B.S team members escape their captivity.

Amy ends up running away with Lucy and faking her own kidnapping.

Will they stay together, or will they get caught? You will have to watch the film ladies.. Trust me, its worth it.

This film is a fun rom com with a happy ending.  Its great if you want a night in with your mates or if your gf is over and you’re not planning on concentrating on the storyline ;)

Its not hard to follow and it allows for coffee breaks or kisses in-between... you won’t get too lost.

The cast includes the great Holland Taylor who we see in the L Word as Helena Peabody’s sharp tonged mother, she plays a similar role of headmistress at D.E.B.S academy. The very sexy Jordana Brewster who plays Lucy; and Sarah Foster who plays Amy.

Its brought to you by one of the directors of the L Word Angela Robinson and for a low budget $3.8m or £1.4m it’s a nice movie. Unfortunately it never made it to a theatrical release but we love it and it has become one of our guilty pleasures.

Buy the DVD, you won’t be disappointed.


Read about Victoria Broom here: http://www.planet-london.com/contributors/victoriabroom.html

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Film Title: D.E.B.S
Released: 2004
Rating: 12
Genre: Action, Comedy, Romance
IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0367631/